Welcome! My life here is an open book and I’m humbled to share it with you. I’d share my bacon with you but we’re just getting to know each other. I can get away with telling you stories about my meat-eating prowess. And, while it may be true that I have an affinity for living room dancing, if I were to claim that I lived a life full of good health, it would be a bold faced lie.

Looking for a new drug: I was, however, blessed with an insatiable appetite. My stomach doesn’t quit. My heart is hungry too. “Give me more. I want more!” Yet, I rarely felt satisfied.  I would fill up on food, pour my heart out on others, and nothing. I still felt empty.

The game changer: I stopped chasing the next high after the birth of my third child. That’s when I quit eating Doritos in bed and started my gut healing journey. The pairing of quality food and fitness has changed my life. I’m finally off the self-medicating roller coaster!!

The irony: I still struggle. A lot. But I’ve learned to re-imagine my dreams, most of which haven’t been realized. Like the time I dreamed of becoming a lawyer and settled on a journalism degree instead.

Stumbling to become real: My holistic journey is more like a crooked path than a straight line. It’s been filled with thorns, processed food, too much caffeine, and too much wine. Whatever I could get my hands on to numb the pain. Some might call this weak or even say it’s ugly. But I say that doesn’t matter. Because once you’re real with yourself you can’t be ugly except to people who don’t understand.

Go easy on yourself, kid: These days I’m treating my body kinder. I’m nourishing my heart as well. I’d like to think I’m headed in a different emotional direction now. And when I come to my senses, I will remember all is grace. God’s grace changes everything.

Stop hiding and start shining: I believe greatness is trapped in everyone. I believe we’re all called to a higher purpose. The reality is that fear prevents most of us from doing anything about it. That’s why I started this blog. I needed a place to dump my imperfections, even if it means admitting I’m an awkward dancer.

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179 thoughts on “my story

  1. Always love to give kudos to those who invest in the future! Nothing compares to raising children while we can — they are off to their own grown-up adventures before we roll over for one more snooze on the alarm! Those hugs & kisses are worth more than any deposit in the bank. Treasure the days!

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      1. It’s been a quest of mine since I started this blog. I’ve taken different twists and turns that were unexpected but now I’m starting to see how everything is connected. Hope you find the same thing in your life — and this blogging stuff REALLY helps 🙂

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  2. So, Anka, here’s we have in common: I just read your Recovering Perfectionist post, and will admit here and now that I can’t even guess how many children’s books have made me cry through the years as I read them to my girls. While I didn’t totally give up an accounting “career” for being a Daddy, I do spend more hours in the day being Daddy than I do working – and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Enjoy those gecko cages and diapers!

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  3. Hello Anka – I thank you for visiting me and following.
    I am going to read some of your posts – thank you for stumbling across as now I have the opportunity to do the same 🙂
    I have the tendency to rave and ramble on with some posts…but that is part of me and how I write (sometimes I’m actually serious)
    Hopefully what you do read will bring a smile..as you have done to me
    Continued good luck with your writing
    🙂

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    1. Happy to have discovered your blog! You had me hooked with the line, “I have always played it safe, too unsure and timid for my good.” I have often struggled with coming out of my shell too.

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    1. Glad you stopped by, Amy! Suddenly I don’t feel so alone. It’s nice to know that someone else put their husband through school, too. Looking forward to reading more about your journey!

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    1. Wow! I came back from a long day of running errands to discover this lovely nomination. Thank you! I love reading your blog just as well. You are a TRUE inspiration!

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      1. That means a great deal coming from someone who I respect as a writer, photographer, and human being. Your passion for life just spills onto the screen.

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  4. Being a Mom is, by far, my most rewarding and daunting job. I, too, wear many hats: corporate executive, CEO of my kitchen, top problem solver, expert toy fixer, Super-Nana, and Mom. Thank you for following my blog and I will be back to visit yours again 🙂

    MJ

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    1. Well, when you put it like that, title of “Mom” really does carry some weight. Perhaps I need to remind myself of the hats I wear and then maybe I won’t feel so conflicted about my role. By the way, I love the meaning behind the name of your blog. Makes perfect sense because there are countless people who shape our lives. Thanks for stopping by, MJ! 🙂

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  5. Did you also forgo your modeling career? I love that last line about not only being defined as a mom. Glad we crossed paths. Now make your Christmas card. Or don’t. You seem really bright, and I really want those sheets :).

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    1. It’s amazing what good lighting can do. Maybe I can channel some of that brightness into a holiday card. Although I’m convinced you’ve already got the sheets in the bag!

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  6. Just wanted to let you know I have nominated you for the Liebster Award. I hope this will be welcome news for you. If you prefer not to accept the award, I certainly understand, but I hope you will visit the other nominees, and they will visit you, just the same. To see more about the award and this nomination, please visit my post at http://wp.me/p2ekZU-18E – All the best!

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  7. Whala, well, that was quick, thank you again for your recommendation, I love the bouquet and changed it right away, where was that one hiding…? Ha ha. You are wonderful.. thanks again !!

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    1. I don’t know if I’m a “wonderful mother,” but I do the best I can. We all have our good and bad days. Nice meeting you and thanks for stopping by, Subhan.

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    1. Glad to hear you can relate. My kids are still under the age of ten, so I cannot imagine what it will be like when they leave home. For now, I am in thick of it. Sleepless night and all!

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  8. Dear Anka,
    Being a mother is one of the most beautiful gifts that a woman can bestow upon her family. My role model in the family was my mother as my father unfortunately left us many times. We depended on her for support in every facet; she provided us with an education and a deep sense of integrity. I am forever grateful for her love and looking after us as a mother, despite the fact that i would have liked and yearned for a stable father figure.
    God bless you and your family

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    1. Thanks for sharing your story. Your mother is a gift indeed. I can’t imagine the countless sacrifices she had to make while raising her children. You’re blessed to have such a lovely role model in your life.

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