I’m not one to promote mommy guilt. But last week was bad, even by my standards. I’m going to ‘out’ myself here. I feel like I’m losing my head without sleep.
And my poor kids are noticing.
Yesterday, I found my daughter in the kitchen with a can of Aussie Sprunch spray in one hand, and a fist full of rubber bands in the other. The look in her eyes said it all. Pure excitement.
“Mom, come here!” She called out to me. “It’s make-over time.” My usual busy self hollered back, “Be there in a minute.”
You know how the rest goes. . . I ended up missing a hair appointment with my sweet girl.
Sometimes I drop what I’m doing and indulge my kids.
Sometimes I don’t. Lately, I haven’t been playing with my kids much. I’ve just been keeping them dry and fed. That’s all I can give.
I feel depleted.
Playing with my kids is always in the back of my mind, though. Kind of like a ‘to-do’ list that never gets done.
I’ll make up for it tomorrow . . . Take them for ice cream, let them use glitter in the house. That still wouldn’t be enough. Partly because my two older kids want my affection not something store bought.
They just want me.
Since baby number three arrived, I’ve had a hard time dividing my attention. There’s only one of me and three of them. Each little person has a different need, different personality, and they require a customized delivery of affirmation.
It can get overwhelming.
My husband works late and I’m often left alone with my babies for thirteen long hours. It’s no excuse, I can do better. I’ll find a way to have exclusivity with each child, even if it means alternating piggie back rides down the hall.
For now, I’m just going to keep child rearing simple. I’m not going to beat myself up for missing an opportunity to get my hair teased. Or feel bad for passing on a round of hoops with my son.
My kids know I’m their number one customer, their number one fan. I’m the first person they see when they wake up and the last person they kiss goodnight.
The truth is I work overtime meeting other needs . . . Food, clean clothes, and love. Lots of love.
Do you feel bad for not playing with your kids often? Why do most of us feel horrible about it?