That’s what he tried telling me anyway. My brother-in-law said there’s no way men and women can just be friends. If the characters from When Harry Met Sally couldn’t settle the question decades ago, then I certainly couldn’t change his mind.
Our conversation didn’t mirror the iconic scene from this movie. But if I had to pick a side, I’d be closer aligned to Sally’s philosophy:
Harry: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I’m saying is that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That’s not true. I have a number of men friends and there’s no sex involved.
Harry: No you don’t.
Sally: Yes I do.
Harry: No you don’t. You only think you do.
Sally: You’re saying I’m having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I’m saying is they ALL want to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman he finds attractive.
Unlike Harry, I believe the male species has evolved. Surely, men can have platonic friendships with women and expect nothing in return.
The parameters may shift when you’re married. To avoid impropriety, I try to exercise discretion when interacting with my guy friends. Call me old-fashioned, but I don’t think married people should spend too much time alone with the opposite sex. Unless, of course, both partners agree.
This is an unpopular opinion, I know.
It’s difficult to answer such a question with a simple yes or no answer. There are always caveats to consider. Caveats are what make stubborn issues fascinating after all these years.
Do you think attraction gets in the way of friendship?